Friday, October 21, 2005


I am slightly intoxicated on the air this morning. As soon as I opened my front door and stepped onto the front porch, flashbacks started coming to me. It smells just like mornings in high school, when I'd get to school and we'd stand around in the courtyard until the bell...and then I'd rush off through the emptying cafeteria into the band/chorus room. Aaaaahh...and that particular angle of sunshine hitting us with that chill in the air brings me back to rushing out of the dorm at UNC just to have enough time to stop at the shop next door for a cup of coffee to desperately clutch as I walked to class...I miss school. Message to anonymous- I know it's not very fun right now but HOLD on until college. You're gonna' love it. You'll love the professors and notes and sports and having your own space...
And in response to your question, I have seen Casablanca. It is one of my all time favorites. "Here's lookin' at you, kid..."
Now I have been told to work. Later, ya'll.

Thursday, October 20, 2005


Moments of bliss from the past week...

Saturday weather roll the windows down perfect, with a frappaccino in the cupholder, the miseducation of lauryn hill blasting through the car speakers, and a long stretch of highway ahead.

Stimulating conversation at the Steak and Shake at 11:30 pm and nothing to rush away to except sleep.

Having your room bumped up to the preferred guest floor...expecting to walk into a smallish double bed scenario and instead opening the door to a king sized bed, kitchen, sitting room...

Falling asleep and staying asleep until your body is rested enough to wake up all on its own...getting up and making coffee, then taking it back to bed with a book.

Showering, dressing, applying make up....taking sweet, precious time.

Strolling through the mall, catching a movie...the easy life.

Rushing to the front door to see a two year old grin and say "Mama mama mama daddy daddy!" and say, can I have a hug?, and he says 'no.' But hug him anyways and grab the baby who slobbers all over you and you know you're home.

Driving the hour and a half road back to the home address with a small to-go pizza in the front seat, Friends in the DVD player, and the kids asleep in their car seats.

Two days off to play in the sunshine...

and back to work. But work is just fine because I started my three days of business off with a trip to the library...
Yesterday I read Quinlin's Estate, by David Ryan Long (author of's so suspensful that you cannot help but devour it. Today I have read F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby, finally. It left me unsatisfied. I didn't need a happy ending, per se...just all of the characters fully developed. I guess that's one sign of a good keep wondering about the characters after the conclusion of the novel, but it's kind of annoying in my brain where I already have enough voices living. Ha ha.
I've started Tolstoy's War and Peace. So far, so good...
It's pretty overwhelming to attempt to read all of the 'classics'. It's not a small category...and today I read a list of the best 100 novels since 1923, as decided by the Times critics. It is appalling how few of those I have read. So after the Russian authors, we move on to that list. Because even though it is a list based on their opinions, that 100 is obviously comprised of influential works. I wish that I could get snowed in at the library.

And there we are.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

In This Town....

Last night a Daisy requested prayer for her goat's leg, which got stuck in a tree.

The McDonald's sign says: Now hiring. Now interbiewing.

On the way to work, I was stuck behind a truck traveling at 10 miles an hour because it was towing a cow.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Just a Theory


WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?? It has been dreary for several days now...and I'm in need of VITAMIN E, SKY CONTROLLER PEOPLE!!!!

Seriously, it has GOT to be a conspiracy. See if this makes sense to you...scientists have come up with a way to create rain by seeding they can probably do all sorts of weatherish things.

Say the economy needs a little shot of adrenaline...give a state a week of gloomy weather and watch the coffee sales soar! See people crowded at the movies! Pay-Per-View marathons will pepper the suburbs! Malls will have no empty parking spots because bad weather is depressing if it lasts for more than a day and people who are depressed have no choice but to resort to SHOPPING.

I'm sure of it. We are being manipulated by the very sky under which we live.

I Am

I Am by Ginny Owens
"No, Lord," he said/"You've got the wrong guy./Simple conversation gets me tongue-tied/And you're telling me to speak with a maniac king/I wonder if I've lost my mind?"/"And besides, I am weak/Don't you want someone strong to lead them out of Egypt/When they've been there so long/And anyway they won't believe You ever spoke to me..."/"That's not your problem," God replied/And the rest is history/Chorus: "There's a bigger picture you can't see,You don't have to change the world, just trust in Me/I am your Creator, I am working out My plan/And through you, I will show them I am."/"Now, Lord, are You sure?/He's just a shepherd boy./Too small for battle gear, with a giant to destroy?/What on earth can he do with five stones and a sling?"/"It's not your problem," God replied/"Cause I can do anything!"
I am the first, I am the last/I am the present and the past/I am tomorrow and today/I am the only way
"Great Lord," she said/"I'm just a simple girl./You say that I will bring your Son into the world?/How can I understand this thing You're gonna do?"/
"That's not your problem," God replied-
There's a bigger picture you can't see, You don't have to change the world, just trust in Me.
I am your Creator, I am working out My plan,
And through you, I will show them I am.


I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. Sean was better as of Saturday afternoonish, but as a joke on me, Christian woke up in the middle of Sunday night with a fever. He's pretty much recovered as of today...but I'm not. I'm a little tired and shut down. I can't imagine life without my babies, but sometimes I just feel too young for this. People generally take that as a joke when I say it in my exasperated, can you believe it tone of voice but...sometimes it's really the way I feel. Because maybe, if I were older by a few years, I'd have a little more patience with the constant neediness...maybe I'd know just a little bit better how to remember that a 100 temperature is not that high, as the advice nurse felt she needed to point out. Ok, sorry. It seemed high to me and to my miserable baby.
And I get so...homesick for Neil. That sounds funny, but sometimes it just hits me. I was rocking Alex to sleep and watching Under the Tuscan Sun...I got to that scene were Diane (I can't remember her movie name) meets Marcello and they get lost in each other...laughing and walking on the beach and spending hours just being...we never have time to do that. We have minutes, when we're lucky. Even at that particular moment I was trying to get Chtoristian to sleep and he was with Sean...which is all good and needed and we are so in love with our kids...but sometimes I feel like we're in separate rooms more than in the same one. And I know that relationships - especially marriages- have to be built on more than that...on the faith and commitment part...but I miss the having your own little world part. The moments that make you remember that you're in love and are so lucky to be spending your life with your best friend.
I know that this is a phase...and the good thing is that we want to be together more...and the kids will only be this age once...I know all those things.
Some days it's just hard.

Friday, October 07, 2005

You Have GOT to be Kidding

A mind-bender. A riddle. A puzzler, if you will.

If sick to your stomach for three days...and all last night spent in the loo, why oh why would a person decide to eat SPICY BUFFALO WINGS for lunch today?

And why, please somebody tell me why, would you call your wife from the bathroom to groan about the resulting relapse and expect SYMPATHY???

So are the days of my husband's life.


People, they do not warn you about this stuff in 'what to expecting when expecting' books.
Let me tell you about a little thing called a stomach virus.
There has been vomiting. Not with the coughing, choking noise that signals danger so that you can carry your child and hold them over the toilet/bathtub/trash can/Dad's shoes.'s more of the 'hmmm...let's check on Sean 'cause he's quiet' variety and there, before his perfectly calm figure, is a huge orange, textured, puddle. Puts me in mind of shag carpeting. We're keeping score on the carpet stains-poop vs puke. I bought this new Resolve stuff yesterday that even comes with its own brush-so come on, it's gotta' work- and no. Definite fading, but how do you de-colorize carpet??? So, at last check, there were two huge puke stains and one nice spotted, trailing poop stain. Which is simply a darker shade of orange than the others.
Which brings me to the poop. I'm surprised that my hands have any remaining skin, as much as I've had to wash them...this stuff is toxic. I'm talkin' one little spurt, and you're considering just trading the kid in for a new model 'cause that little behind is NEVER going to smell clean again...and the worst part is that it's pure liquid. It looks exactly like something people are forced to drink on Fear Factor. The Pull-Ups Runneth Over....yeah. Why hasn't someone invented Diaper Reinforcements for diarrhea? Something like a period pad or the little slidy thing you put under a George Forman Grill to catch the grease. Anything to help prevent the 'ok, just put him in the bathtub' diaper changes and Good Lord, catch Christian before he crawls in Sean's wake.
And sleep is disrupted by most definitely necessary changes...which prompted him this morning at 2 am, to lean forward and give me a little kiss on the lips and to swing his little arm in his odd cheer and say 'Let's GO!'- the phrase I love that he says when he gets up in the signals - hey, playtime. Awake time. Drink juice time. Anything but sleepy time...2 am. 2 AM. Is there NOT a sleeping pill meant for two year olds?
And in the midst of all this on Thursday morning, the healthy Christian woke up at 5:45 and as I fixed him his morning milk, peed all over me and the kitchen floor.
When I am old and they have to take care of me, I swear I'm going to completely stop controlling my bowels.