I'm desperately trying to get some writing done - but I'm at the point where I can't even finish a legitimate blog post. My children are my inspiration, my first priority, the greatest love-burst a girl could hope for...but sometimes I don't know how in tarnation I'm supposed to finish anything with their exuberant toddler-ness spontaneously combusting around me.
Usually I just close my notebook or the laptop and play for a while, knowing that they'll later fall asleep or get involved in a puzzle or each other enough to give me a solid twenty minutes or so of working done, but this week they've been clinging to me non-stop. Maybe it's spring fever...whatever the reason, my writing schedule has been officially disrupted. I'm just a better, more peaceful person when I have that little bit of me-in-imaginary-world time...so let's hope I get some quality work done soon. And then let's hope I somehow alleviate the mom-guilt that goes along with this kind of frustration. (Do you know the cycle? It goes a little like this - These are my children, growing so fast - I shouldn't waste a single moment wanting to be doing anything else...but there are only so many years left of my life and if I don't write what I'm writing, then it'll never get written and doesn't God ask that I do my best with any given talents...but being a mother is the highest calling...but characters a, g, and t are stuck midsentence in that confrontation and my brain is stuck mid-plot at all times...what's that, Christian? You need juice?)
(Exhale.)
Anybody else out there ever feel this way? (Please, please say yes. Please?)
All I Want for Christmas - a DV poem
5 years ago