Yes, Mommy is home from work. I'll run to her and grin and put my arms up. "Hey!" I'll say, in my sweetest voice. Just like I've been missing her all day...she won't be able to resist when I say "cookie, pease!" Yeah. Ha ha...and she'll give me a cookie - just one, darn it - and pick up baby brother. To seal her thoughts on how wonderful I am and what a great 'Seventh Heaven' kind of family night it will be, I sit by her and kiss Christian on the head. Oh, she's putty in my hands. I'll follow her around the kitchen until she feeds me dinner. And then we'll have a bath. And then. It will be Time. Time to fulfill the Plan.
Because when it is dark outside, she puts on those sleepy clothes and sits down to feed Christian a bottle. He will go to sleep - and BAM. The house will surely be mine. She will say 'shhh...brother's sleepy. Lets read a book.' And I'll go to my room...hee hee....
except, really I'll sneak into those places they don't let me have because they are selfish and make me play with 'age-appropriate' toys.
So I'll go into the guest room and play Daddy's XBox. And then I'll look at Mommy's Friends trivia game and memorize the answers for my next playdate. I'll even leave the cards out of the box so Mommy can play later. I'll grab a couple of books to read through off Mommy's shelves...doesn't every two year old have the right to read some good essays on literary theory every now and then instead of Winnie the Pooh?
And then, because I'm nice, I'll open the dryer and take out the clothes. Yeah, they're wet, so I lay them on the floor so they'll dry. (And Mommy will see me. And just say, 'ohhh. Sean!' So happy!). I'll go into my room for a sec so Mommy will hear my drums and think I'm playing with the permissable...and then it's into the Master Bedroom. Oh yes. The room with a laptop so I can IM Dora and Steve, and the highlighters by the bed I can use to finish my mural on the wall, and shoes to try on...and best of all the big bathtub Mommy forgot to drain the water out of. Sweet. Reeeelaxation, here I come. The waters a little cool, but hey. I've got on my thick pajamas, so no big deal. I'll just step in and sit down...ahhhh...splash splash. Mommy will be SO proud that I will be extra clean.
And then I'll hear footsteps and put on my most innocent, adorable face.
"Moooom," I'll say. "Bath?"
She'll love me so much that she'll pick me up and put on my favorite pjs, read me a book, give me some juice, and let me watch Friends with her.
Yes. Life is good. I love the Plan.
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Sad that I didn't get to visit this week...happy that I am privileged enough to know exactly what each face looks like.
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