Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Happy 50!

Yes, believe it or not, this is my 50th post. And to celebrate it, I'm going to share 50 random tidbits with ya'll that will be life changing and very, very helpful. Wisdom from yours truly.

Ahem. Clearing throat.

1. The best way to eat Oreo cookies is this - pour a tall glass of milk. Crumble cookies into milk. Eat with spoon. Enjoy.
2. If you're going to watch a DVD of The New World (Colin Farrell, Christian Bale), don't start it at 10 pm like I did last night. The movie is looooong. And you just keep watching to see if something earth shattering is going to happen. But it doesn't. The scenery is pretty, Pocahontas is an interesting character...but, really, how many times can you watch her run around and still care that she's running around?
3. Everwood is brilliant television and it is a TRAVESTY that it was cancelled. BUY THE DVDS.
4. Playing with play-dough is good therapy. But please don't wear that new perfume. Come on. Gross.
5. If you have a cavity that hurts like heck, don't insist on eating sweets. Hello, it hurts!
6. Read dooce.com. Funny stuff.
7. If you drink tea, drink it sweet. Take note, yankees of America! (And Disneyworld. I still think it's strange that Disneyworld doesn't offer sweet tea.)
8. Which reminds me. If you're pregnant and at Disneyworld, don't ride the teacups, ok? You WILL get sick.
9. Riding bikes on that compacted sand right next to the ocean is awesome. It feels like flying.
10. Go barefoot when at all possible. It's good for the soul.
11. Housework is best done to loud music that you can sing along to, such as soundtracks to musicals or Mariah Carey.
12. If you get the chance, work at a Vacation Bible School. Kool-Aid, songs with motions, kickball, puppets - what's not to like?
13. Disney movies rock. Old school films like Beauty and the Beast, the Little Mermaid, Lion King....and newer ones like Monsters Inc. and Toy Story are good.
14. When buying a house, make sure all the work is done BEFORE you move in.
15. If you have kids, read to them. They like it. Plus, it makes them smart.
16. Little Women? Love it. The book and the movie. Have Kleenex at hand.
17. Best Cereal: Smart Start, Special K / red berries, Basic4, Cocoa Pebbles, Booberry. Yum!
18. If you make your bed, your room automatically appears 85% cleaner.
19. Watch lightening bugs.
20. Make lists. They help.
21. Call your parents regularly. They love you.
22. My age! 22 that is. But not for long. Sigh. Soon 23 and then 30 and then 55 and so on.....
23. Being sarcastic to co-workers is great fun. Tell them you will do no work. Watch their eyes panic.
24. When at the movies, eat popcorn. It makes you feel like you're really at the movies.
25. GO ON VACATION.
26. Every now and then, treat yourself to a good breakfast. Eggs, bacon, biscuits. Waffles. Pancakes with strawberries. Chocolate milk.
27. Invest some time in the AMC and TCM channels. Worthwhile. Just this weekend I saw Pillowtalk with Doris Day and Rock Hudson for the first time. Classics are classics because they're quality!
28. If you run over enough curbs, that black piece underneath the front of your car will fall down and drag and then have to be pulled off. Trust me.
29. I don't get the whole Madonna thing. Really. I don't think she can sing. There. I said it. So what? So SUE ME, pop culture of the USA!!!
30. And while we're on that topic, I have to say it. Taylor Hicks? Really?
31. Those glow-in-the-dark stars are really cool until your grandparents sleep in your bed and the stars start falling off the ceiling and dinging Grandpa and Grandma in the head....
32. Avoid moving if you can. You lose stuff.
33. The CW network is a bad, bad idea.
34. Start an anti-tan campaign. Come on people, legs that haven't seen the sun in two years CAN be beautiful!!!!!! (Yes, I'm whimpering in the corner at the thought of bathing suits...)
35. Start a piggy bank for late fees at the library. It IS hard to get book back on time! It's kind of like fighting gravity or Lord Voldemorte.....(which may or may not be spelled with that e on the end, by the way.)
36. If your significant other or roommate loves to watch WWE wrestling and the like - just go ahead and break the television. All of them. You'll be doing yourself a favor.
37. Don't forget about board games! Friendly fun. (Unless there's cheating or trash talk. In which case arm yourself with darts.)
38. Goober pb&j is out of this world delicious. I'm talkin' eat out of the jar goood.
39. If you laugh while you discipline your kids, they don't actually get the point.
40. And I quote - "Alarm Clock bad Coffee good"
41. READ. For real. Just do it. It's like nutrition for your brain. Those people from school days that thought reading was dorky or dull? They were WRONG. These are the people who smash beer cans on their heads for fun. You're gonna' listen to their opinion of entertainment?
42. If you happen to like George Bush, have a stress ball near you if you read Anne Lammott's Plan B, Further Thoughts on Faith. She has very obvious issues with the president, and so if you do like him....there will be grinding of teeth in annoyance.
43. George Clooney is hot. Enough said.
44. Boiled peanuts. HATE THEM SO MUCH. Especially from the jar. It's disgusting and I figure a health hazard in some real way.
45. Plant a tree. It'll take time - ok, years - but when it's taller than you are, you'll feel quite accomplished. Plus, you're contributing to oxygen, which we all like.
46. If you go to church, don't talk about the preacher or his family. You think it won't get back to him or his feelings can't be hurt? It will and they can.
47. Snap green beans or shuck corn (but watch out for the eeny green worms!). It's satisfying to take your food from raw nature.
48. Make-up is a tool used to accent, not a face mask. Be careful with that stuff. In some hands, it's a weapon of mass destruction.
49. The UNC tarheels- the only team that matters.
And finally....
50. Start a blog. Then you, too, can make long winded, pointless lists just like this one and there is no one to stop you or to complain.

7 comments:

Felicity said...

Fantastic! I love it...Just recently I've been thinking that I would love to snap beans or shuck corn. Southern girls unite!

Anonymous said...

OK? George C. old and ugly. Get a tan, nice.Boiled peanuts at the lake, wonderful. Taylor Hicks, I agree, blahhhhhh.

Anonymous said...

OH yea, I forgot the biggest one of all. Duke is the BEST, Tarheels BOO. JJ was on Duke that makes them great. Come on now.

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