Most Likely to Scheme With Ashton Kutcher

So the boys were having one of those nights where they just didn't want to fall asleep. I put them into bed, turned out the light, and went to get Kailey ready for sleepy-time. Sean and Christian kept alternating their calls - "Mommy! I can't sleep!" "Mommy, Sean threw a pillow down!" "Mommy! I want water!" "Mommy! Mommy! Moooommmmmyyyy!"

This can get very annoying. I try to ignore them for the most part, lest I get sucked into an endless back-and-forth exchange, which is so not the point of bedtime.

But, finally, Sean said "Mommy! I'm scared! I think there's a monster in the closet!"
I started walking back to their room, yelling out across the house (I'm soooo ladylike sometimes) "THERE'S NOT A MONSTER IN THE CLOSET!" I got to their room and looked up at Sean on the top bunk. "Sean, there's nothing to be scared of. I promise, there is not a monster in the closet. Monsters are not real."
"Actually, Mommy, I think it's a small dinosaur."
"There isn't a monster and there isn't a dinosaur, either. There's nothing in the closet!" I turned to the closet, reached out to open the doors, and RRROOOOAAAAARRRR!!!!
Christian jumped out of the closet.
I nearly jumped right out of my fuzzy pink socks and let out a totally sincere scream.
They were so pleased with themselves for scaring me that it was all they talked about the next day.
Here's what really scares me - if they're coming up with pranks to pull on me now, at the sweet innocent ages of 3 and 5, what are they going to do to me when they're teenagers???

On Being Fruitful and Multiplying...

And then there were five. Kailey Juliet was born on June Tenth. She has already wrapped everyone in the house around her teensy pinky...we're having a great time dressing her up in cute dresses and getting baby-snuggles. I forgot how small the kiddos really are when they're born. She's already grown so much -- and she's getting more attentive, taking in this crazy world around her. But here's a picture of day one, in the hospital, when she was fresh out of the oven....

When I look at Kailey, Sean, and Christian together, my heart feels like it's going to burst at its seams. It's amazing how much love a person can contain, how much joy can fill us up. This is what it is to be blessed beyond measure.

Reason #8,987,346,219 Why Kids Are More Entertaining Than Houseplants

This goes right up to the top of the "Weird Things Accomplished By My Kids" list.





A foreign object was taken from Christian's nose this morning. It was one of these:

That's right. A small piece of liquid ice. Is it liquid? Is it ice? Who knows? The funny thing is, while I was getting him ready for bed last night, I kept thinking that he smelled minty and that he must have had some candy in his class at church.

Apparently, to Christian, it was more like a teensy tiny fun ball that needed to be stored in a very safe spot for a later playdate.

Just For Fun...

So far I love the month of March! Those last days of February were truly February-ish - all cold and white and gloomified. But with March came the sun! And sixty to seventy degree temperatures! It makes me happy. Being outside with the boys and inhaling that subtle scent in the air (slight, earthy, promises of budding trees) gets me in that flower-planting frame of mind, which it definitely isn't time for yet. But, all the same, I want to drive to the nearest store, buy new gardening gloves, and pretty up my depressed yard. I truly hope that in Heaven, in one facet or another, we'll still get the essence of the joy the whole winter to spring change brings...or maybe it'll just feel like that all the time, since Heaven is our eternal spring...maybe we'll always feel like jumping around and digging our toes into gold-dusty dirt....

And I found a fun, silly link through all of the quadrillion pregnancy emails I'm getting...Look Who's Prego! Since I'm getting rounder and rounder by the millisecond, I figured I'd give everyone else a chance to see how they'd look if they were pregnant, too....go on. You know you want to try it.

Lastly...this is a bit belated, but everyone should go check out Heather's fun question on her blog...she poses an interesting literary challenge. And I can totally agree with her pick!

Happy Monday, everyone!

"Wouldn't it be fun if all the castles in the air which we make could come true and we could live in them?" ~Jo March

I am in a Norman Rockwell stage. I've been spending time looking through a huge book of his work, and was delighted to find his Louisa May Alcott series. The above picture is, simply, "Jo March in the Attic".

I love "Little Women". I remember how thrilling it was to discover that there were other books after it..."Little Men", "Jo's Boys", etc....but nothing ever replaced that original story of four sisters in my esteem.

This painting makes me smile because it reminds me of how desperately I wanted to be Jo March - feisty and brave, locked away in some special spot reserved for writing and imagining the rest of the world. (I think that a part of me could very well turn into a hermit, lost in an internal world. This may be the reason God decided I needed a family so early. So that I couldn't become the proverbial crazy cat lady. [at least not yet.]) When Jo finally got those stories published, but couldn't be proud of them, I was so torn for her - wanting her success to be truly admirable, for her to be happy with it...and then there's her book at the end, after the grief of losing Beth....I wanted to write something like that, too. Something with meaning, something special. Something to be proud of.

Thinking about "Little Women" takes me back to that wonderful phase of childhood...that time when I could just lie around and devour books by the pile. I had this great reading and diary-writing spot -- not in an attic like Jo, but outside on this big wooden swing in a corner of our yard. It was shaded by some wild trees covered in kudzu and angled so that I didn't feel exposed to the world. I named it something like 'Windy Hill.' I had a great penchant for naming places after L.M. Montgomery came into my brain. I also wrote out my diary entries to 'Kitty' for a few years after reading Anne Frank. I was, um, quite an impressionable kid, apparently.

But maybe it was more than that - I think, by trying to imitate these great people and characters, I was attempting to bring some of their magic into my life. Because that's what great books still do for me - they remind me that even the ordinary moments can be sacred...they make me want to have purpose and to aspire for greatness. They make me look at the daily within the larger picture...and to know that it's the scenes - the dialogue, the day to day action - that make up an entire life. So to infuse the knowledge that it all counts, even the small stuff, for the greater meaning of my life...it makes a difference in how I look at this house with the toys from scattered on the floor, the stray cat stretched out asleep on the back porch, the cell phone ringing in the next room.
The fact that there are books in this world that can make someone savor life more...that bring on a smile....it feels like such an extravagant gift!

Mid-Week Musing

Our pastor used a quote last Sunday by a fellow named Stephen Grellet. I liked the quote and so looked up Mr. Grellet, who turned out to have had quite an interesting life. Anyone who starts out as a body-guard for King Louis XVI, escapes an order to be executed during the French Revolution, and ends up as a Quaker missionary in America definitely would have a few life-lessons up his (ruffled, in this case) sleeve.

These were his words that caught my attention and make me want to get out there and do something:

"I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good things, therefore, that I can do, any kindness that I can show a fellow being, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."

Surprise Request

Sean's prayer at bedtime sort of floored me tonight...he started out with this: "God, please give me -"

And in that pause, I was thinking...and here it is. The first time he asks for God to give him something more than a safe night and good dreams. And with the amount of time it was taking him to think it up...I was getting ready to hear a request for Power Rangers or a dog or Transformers...and a part of me was sad, that his innocent baby prayers might be turning into the 'I want' list instead...I didn't expect it quite so soon.

But he continued with this: "Please, God, give Christian a new toy car that's really fast on a roller coaster that's a toy that he likes." And on with the regularly scheduled prayer.

It actually brought tears to my eyes. This 4 year old's instinct is to pray for a blessing someone else would enjoy (and he's the first one to always say that Christian likes cars, but he likes superheroes...it was actually a selfless toy request).

Another life lesson from my kid.
If he keeps giving me such great examples of how to be a better person, I might actually show improvement at some point. :)

Because Sometimes a Picture Really is Worth 1000 Words

Today's Action:

Organize tax information. Get some idea of what might be owed to our government.

My Reaction:

Precious Moments Aren't Just Porcelain Figurines

Today was a good day.
I decided to take a semi-break from housework and my writing to-do list in order to spend a little extra time playing with the boys...so instead of scribbling in the notebook or folding laundry while they had art-time, I colored with them. We had an indoor picnic for lunch, a fort-building session in the early afternoon, and a long drawn out battle of ninjas versus invisible foes. Multiplying foes, I might add. Every time I thought we had surely been victorious (aka, my 'karate' was tiring me out), Sean would say "oh, no! There are twenty more behind you!" He informed me that they were getting in through the fireplace, so I tried "blocking" it with large couch cushions...didn't help one bit. Those bad guys were tricky. And, by the way, it is hilarious for me - the girl who spent her "pretending" years with younger sisters, doll babies, Anne of Green Gables, and tea sets - to be playing Mommy Ninja. This playing with boys thing is a whole new world.
After a few extra stories at bedtime, we went into what is usually the sweetest part of my day - lights out (as long as they're being cooperative. we all know that forcing a 3 and 4 year old to stay in bed when they don't want to is less than a fun time...). After I tucked them in and had given all of the requested kisses and hugs, I turned on our current bedtime playlist (Josh Groban, Ella Fitzgerald, a few jazzy pieces by Miles Davis) and listened to them say their prayers. There is nothing quite like hearing their spontaneous conversations with God...Christian mainly mimics Sean and adds a hearty amen...but, still, it's a perfect display of innocent faith - a faith that it becomes harder to hold onto as we grow older. Listening to Sean thank God for taking care of our family (with a name by name list) reminds me that worry is pointless....just like Sean is certain that Mommy and Daddy will be there to pour his apple juice in the morning, he's certain that God will take care of us. It's wonderful to bask in the simplicity of his world...because it's a simplicity intended for mine, as well.
As I sat there in the quiet beside of the bed, I had one of those moments where it just hit me...how precious these days are. Right now, it's just the three of us during the day, with our own little world...trips to the park are still marvelous outings to them, grocery shopping is an adventure, a picnic in our own back yard is something akin to the golden ticket. It takes so little to thrill them....just a little time and imagination. I'm going to do my best to make the most of these last months...because in June, it'll get a little harder to play so freely...and then, in August, the biggest chunk of Sean's day will be taken up by school.
People are not overstating it at all when they talk about how fleeting childhood is...babies today and teenagers tomorrow. It's my deepest hope that when the boys look back at these days of forts and two-hour coloring sessions, they'll know how much joy they brought to their hormone-crazed Mommy - and I hope that joy is given back to them, over and over and over again....
I guess that's a Mama's biggest prayer - let my children's cups overflow with blessings until the floor's flooded...let the blessings rise and rise until they're doing the backstroke through love, peace, and grace...totally and completely inundate them with Your goodness.

The moment Christian decided to do what his aunts and uncles were telling him to do:That's right. Forget forks. Forget civilized behavior. Teeth are made for birthday cake consumption, are they not?

When he says he's gonna' do something, he's gonna' do it. He bit out of that cake from one end to the other, much to the delight of my siblings. I blame them.
But I didn't stop him. At least not for a while. You only turn three once, right?
And, honestly....don't you want to eat your next birthday cake just like that?

p.s. photography by the ever-lovely Carrie

California Dreamin'

Does anybody else remember this tv show? It was definitely in that prime era of TNBC....Saturday mornings rocked, baby, with Saved By The Bell, Hang Time, City Guys...and of course California Dreams: Please feel free to watch the opening credits and feel 13 again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8ltiqJgf24&feature=related

Anyway. That's all just to prove that the glamour and wonder of California is ingrained in us at a tender age here in the US of A...Saved By The Bell was all about California grooviness, too, if you'll remember. And who among us didn't, at some point, see about 5 billion episodes of Saved By The Bell?

So last November, when Neil and I flew out to LA for vacation, it was finally my chance to see all of this magic in person. And you know what? Even though, somehow, I didn't spend my time singing in a band at a hip beach club or playing beach volleyball with Zack Morris (AND I didn't wake up blonde, tan, and a size 2! What was that about????), there was definitely something different about California. It's one of those places where the air is filled with opportunity(because you CAN get discovered on a random street corner, right?)...and it's surreal to see the places that have formally been bound to your tv screen as reality.

We had so much fun...and since it was just the two of us, we were constantly on the go. (And we did crash the second we walked into the hotel room. Ok, I crashed the second I sat down anywhere, but there wasn't much I could do about that. Baby-in-uterus still trumps vacation adrenaline, apparently.) We crammed in at least 4 theme parks, a zoo, museums, tourist-y celebrity tours, a Laker's game, a showing of Wicked (amazing, by the way)....and we even got to have a personal tour from an insider. Our visit with the always wonderful Ms. BCT was definitely a highlight.

My favorite museum, by the way, was in the original Max Factor building...it was all about historical Hollywood and so much of it was preserved from the days when Lucille Ball, Judy Garland, and other amazing actresses would visit to get their make-up done for their shows. I love the classic Hollywood days, so seeing so much original memorabilia was a thrill for me.

I could go on and on about the trip, but I won't pile on the details. I will, however, share a few pictures! Because in these days of cold winter weather, California Dreamin' is a wonderful way to go...

We have arrived! We start dodging paparazzi....now. We dodged pretty well, by the way. We somehow didn't end up on a single magazine cover or news broadcast.

And our first awesome puchase in Hollywood? Band-aids. Yep. Ten minutes upon arriving on Hollywood Blvd, I'm in a pharmacy because my shoes are not all that broken in. Woo-hoo! Bring it ON, vacation!

There she is! My long-time friend turned Hollywood local, giving us our first California meal.

The Chinese Theatre, which is where you'll find all of those infamous hand and foot prints. The inside is even more impressive than the outside.

And below you'll see my husband jumping into action during our visit to the Hollywood Wax Museum. Spidey's energy was contagious. Sorry that I don't know how to rotate the picture with this Blogger machinery.

Da-du-dudu, da-dududu....um, that's the theme song to Beverly Hills, 90210 you're hearing in your head, too - right?

And a view from those Hollywood hills of LA...

And why can't we all live in places where superheroes mingle on the streets? That's Captain America, the Flash, and Batman all in one huddle. Rest easy, LA. You're well protected.

Mr. Neil at Seaworld...blue skies, blue water, and still representing the Tarheel Blue on the hat. You can take the Heels out of North Carolina, but...you know the rest.The drive down to San Diego was gorgeous. Ocean on one side and the beginning of mountains on the other...I was all 'ooh! ahhhh!' the entire way. The pictures from the (moving) car don't begin to do it all justice.The panda is at the San Diego Zoo and too sweet to resist. I wanted to carry him home with me, but I couldn't figure out where I'd buy bamboo once I got him here. And...palm trees. Because it was, after all, California.

And So...

The past five months or so have been a period of incubation for me, in more ways than one.
Creatively, I had pushed through a major draft of my novel and the inevitable rewrites....and then, of course, came the onslought of queries and rejections. My brain got really, really tired. I was still writing bits and pieces of things in the little notebook, but nothing cohesive...just ideas, scenes, character descriptions.
And then came news. My body was working on a creative endeavor of its own - baby number three! And this little one, ladies and gents, is a girl. Neil and I are overjoyed with this new development...with Sean starting school this summer and Christian just turning three, it seems that the timing is right. She is due to join us out here in the real world on June seventh....so we still have some time to prepare. And to think up a name. The naming process was easy for the boys....this girl, however, may end up Baby Girl Lambert in the hospital if we don't start narrowing in on the perfect name soon.
So with the pregnancy came lots of happiness....and lots of pure exhaustion inside of my skull. Until that first trimester was well over, I had to force myself to follow the normal routines....and I could barely keep my eyes open long enough to sketch out a paragraph. (This blog and the world of the internet was apparently the largest victim of this condition. But I tell ya' - I missed it!) For a while, I just needed to indulge in reading and trying to convince my boys to take naps with me. And, of course, there was the need for BBQ potato chips and Mexican food...this kid likes the spicy stuff.
Fortunately, things started boiling again a few weeks ago and the long months of eensy production have rolled into several new short stories and a major overhaul (gulp) of that crazy book of mine. Time equals objectivity with this writing thing, and I definitely needed a good dose of that!
So I keep learning that wise Mr. Solomon was so right -- there are seasons for everything. And with a new addition to our family so welcome, I know we're moving into a season of joy.

My Kind of Optimism

"Ever tried.
Ever failed.
No matter.
Try again.
Fail again.
Fail better."

~Samuel Beckett

Gotta' Love This

I'm reading Joe Jones by Anne Lamott...and just came across this quote that made me laugh in recognition: "She thinks: Being me is just so time consuming."

Thanks to Laura

The Little House on the Prairie series was the first I ever read by myself...I can't remember how old I was, but I remember how much I loved following Laura's adventures. The wagons and wide prairies and cozy nights tucked in with the sound of Pa's music - it all thrilled me. The books spurred much of my early 'pretend' playing and influenced my choices throughout childhood...such as my insistence that my sister and I name our bikes so that they could be our 'horses'....and many, many, many games of 'pioneer'. Following the Little House books, I began to read more pioneer stories written for kids...and then fell in love with books by Janette Oke (this was also because of my lovely grandmothers, who both let me raid their bookshelves and taught me by example that books are to be loved). The majority of Janette Oke's Christian books are set in the 1800s and gave me the grown up's perspectives of those courageous settlers.

I was thinking about all of this because I unpacked long-closed boxes of books from those days and kept taking out book after book with this theme...(though Laura's books have been safely on my shelves, most of my childhood reading materials have been packed up in the garage)...it makes me smile, to think of how ready I was for some adventure of my own (and how much I longed to live in a dugout by a creek).

I looked up the Laura Ingalls books this morning and found that they've been remarketed for the younger generations....which is good. I hope I can pass this love of mine down to my own kids...especially if I ever have a girl. Because Laura Ingalls is definitely full of girls-can-do-anything antecdotes. Here's a cool list of recipes and activies drawn from the books - all fun ideas!

I'm glad my parents gave me those books so long ago...they opened up an entire world with that simple gift.

Confessions

First, I'd like to say thanks for all of the birthday wishes I received here and for all of the wonderful book suggestions given in the fairy tale post...I am a year older, but at least I have lots of reading material to spice up the new year!

Currently, I need an attitude makeover. I'll share a little bit of my feelings here, because I know that other moms read this blog - and hopefully, you'll recognize where I'm coming from.

I hate it when I get this pinched-breath sort of feeling, because I am well aware of the blessings that actually overwhelm my life. And my children are the best and most beautiful of them all...but every now and then, especially when my last solo venture into the world to do something Christie-ish (like browsing in a bookstore) is at best a vague memory (early spring?), the routines get to me. Seriously - do you ever feel like if you have to pick up the pieces of those same puzzles one more time in a twenty four hour period that you might spontaneously combust? It's these cycles that ever hurtle forwards that can get to me - the laundry, the dishes, the crumbs that mysteriously end up all over the carpet (eight times a day! I don't understand how they sneak this stuff out of the kitchen!), the tussles between toddlers that invariably end in tears and the guilty party hiding under the bed...I feel guilty even writing this stuff down, but it's the truth. Every now and then, I want to run away. Just for a few hours. Just long enough to eat a snack without having to share it and maybe to drink something hot without worrying about small hands overturning the cup...just long enough to get through a chapter of something without an adventuresome two year old trying to yank the curtains down from their rods...if Neil didn't work such a consuming job, there might be more chances for me to have those hours...but he does, so there are these times when the sameness of every day begins to glaze over the joys therein...

Like today.

So maybe venting a little to you, blogosphere, will ease up some of the frustration. In hopes of reminding myself of what I should be saying instead of complaining, I'm including a classic prayer written by St. Thomas Aquinas that I have always loved. I'm also adding a wonderful painting by Craig Nelson, an artist I have just discovered. Definitely check him out.

"Grant, O Lord my God, that I may never fall away in success or in failure; that I may not be prideful in prosperity nor dejected in adversity. Let me rejoice only in what unites and sorrow only in what separates us. May I strive to please no one or fear to displease anyone except Yourself. May I seek always the things that are eternal and never those that are only temporal. May I shun any joy that is without You and never seek any that is beside You. O Lord, may I delight in any work I do for You and tire of any rest that is apart from You. My God, let me direct my heart towards You, and in my failings, always repent with a purpose of amendment."

Zzzzzz

How you know your new story idea isn't going to lift off the ground :

You fall asleep on your keyboard while drumming up scenes (literally, keyboard imprints on face and legs numb from awkward crossed position). Yes, that's right. Your own brain children (ie, characters) bore you into unconscious slumber.

That, my friends, is an undeniable sign.

So....Hot....

The temperature at noon today was at about 107. It is miserably hot here in the southern part of the US this week...opening the front door feels like opening the oven door. When I break a sweat just getting the kids into the car? Yeah. That's too hot for me.

My posts have been scanty this week...we've had much more activity around here than usual. Vacation Bible School began on Monday. It's Sean's first year and he is having a blast...every day he comes home full of information about his lesson, snacks, and games. Christian has been having his own party in the nursery section of the church. New toys and animal crackers! Woo! I was recruited to work in the craft station, so I've been busy with hot glue guns and pipe cleaners. The theme for the week was Water Works Park and so the kids, at least, have been able to cool off outside with water games. I've been really tempted to jump in on one of those!

Tomorrow's the last day. I mentioned this to Sean earlier today and he asked me (again) if kindergarten is next. Sigh. Those wings are spreading...and the Mommy is already feeling some separation anxiety. I guess this is the bittersweet nature of parenthood. We work hard to teach them independence and are so pleased when they can feed themselves and no longer need diapers and drink from big kid cups...but then the day comes that they're ready to go out into the world and use that independence without us. And we know it's good and important that they do this growing up thing - but we can't help wishing it all hadn't gone by quite so quickly.

But Who Gets Custody of Santa?

I find this article from the Telegraph.co.uk extremely interesting. Apparently the North Pole has been claimed by Russia..."veteran Arctic explorer Artur Chilingarov descended 14,000 feet in a three-man deep sea submersible and dropped a Russian tricolor cast in titanium onto the seabed."

People aren't too thrilled with the idea. Despite the agreement made within the boundaries of the UN about this territory, it's bound to get ugly as there's believed to be ten billion barrels of oil waiting for a happy owner to claim them. Add that to the global warming issue and you've got a place important to the future of the earth...(those melting ice sheets, experts are saying, could even open up the infamous North East passage for commercial traffic within eight years).

Who knows what will happen? I just hope it's managed peaceably.

Because the elves do not handle conflict well.

Permission to Whine...

The always fun Luisa tagged me with this meme this morning...and I'll take her up on it. It's not often that we have permission to voice disgruntled feelings. And as my mother says - when it's your mud puddle, sometimes it's okay to wallow in it. (As long as you eventually get out and shower, of course.)

5 people who will be annoyed that I tagged them:

Betsy
Carrie
Eva
Hannah (because it's about time that you started your own blog!)
Amy Jane (I know you don't usually do the meme thing, but maybe this will serve to inspire some future post.)

4 things that should go into Room 101 to be banished from the earth forever:

Child abuse. All forms.

Realistic horror movies that just serve to perpetuate fear and violence. They give me nightmares and make me afraid to be in my own backyard. I don't like 'em.

Barbie Girl by Aqua. I don't know why. I just have detested this song from the first time I heard it.

The last season of 7th Heaven. So. Many. Reasons.

3 things people do that make you want to shake them violently:

Calling other people any variation on the word 'stupid'.

Scraping silverware on plates. (My siblings still do this on purpose just to make me crazy.)

Grabbing a book out of my hands while I'm reading it. Not a good idea. Ever.

2 things you find yourself moaning about:

Writing anything 'official' about my fiction - a query, a synopsis, an outline....the bane of my scribbling fun.

Potty training. Will it ever end?

1 thing the above answers tell you about yourself:

That I have lots of pet peeves? Because I really had so many answers - I had to pick and choose...I think I'm an idealist. I have pictures in my head of how things should be (probably all picked up from sources such as Little House on the Prairie and L.M. Montgomery...) and it stresses me out when reality interferes. For instance - would Anne and Gilbert ever through Saw? I think not. The imagination is meant for creating works that are beautiful and reflect something important about life and faith - okay, so the dark stuff comes into play (and I realize that this is in my own work)....but the important thing is that it has a point. The bad stuff works into good stuff - or at least shows that there's hope. (And the 7th Heaven thing? That just has to do with aspiring for quality and not quantity. Another whole post.)